My vanity got the best of me and I calculated my Erdős number: at most 5. I got some help in finding the shortest path, which is as follows:

  1. Paul Erdős 1. Johannes H. Hattingh
  2. Johannes H. Hattingh 2. Andrew R. Plummer
  3. Andrew R. Plummer 3. Benjamin Munson
  4. Benjamin Munson 4. Ann R. Bradlow
  5. Ann R. Bradlow 5. Lauren M. Ackerman

If you’d like to party hard and sleep furiously, this shirt (or this one) may be for you!

  • Snowmageddon
  • Snowpocalypse
  • Tsnownami
  • SnOwMG
  • Snoverload
  • Snowloko
  • Blizzaster
  • Blizzunderstorm
  • Snotorious B.I.G.
  • Snowprah
  • Chilizzard
  • Snowcago
TwitterName #LinguistPickupLine
AnotherLinguist Are you from an interior social class b/c you’re really promoting a change from below
bdevan How about I show you how clitic climbing works?
crfarrington1 do you have dark or light liquids?
crfarrington1 your labiovelar glides are below the level of my consciousness right now.
crfarrington1 your oral closure gives me stiff phonation on the vocalic stream…
crfarrington1 I bet I can find a new way of analyzing your variation
crfarrington1 Your ash is a little tense. let me make it lax.
crfarrington1 Your strong glides makes my BITE weak
crfarrington1 Let me be a change from within your prenasal ash… it’ll be our little community of practice
crfarrington1 I’ll let you back your “I” nucleus right into my thoughts.
ecormany don’t worry about parsing me, i’m context free.
ecormany you must have an EPP feature, because you’re causing some otherwise unexpected raising
ecormany i don’t believe in phrase impenetrability, so i should get to see all the way down inside you
hanachronism I wish y, ɨ, ʉ and ɯ didn’t exist so u and i could be together.
hanachronism I am a linguist. If you come with me we will be 2. We will be 2 _________.
hanachronism You look like a model. What programming language are you written in?
hanachronism The selective pressure for the larynx descending in our ancestors was so that I could tell you how pretty you are.
imnotsatan Hey baby, I think we could be matched guys
imnotsatan Are you an informant? Because I want to spend four to six weeks with you.
jasonbaldridge let’s get fricative
kaitlinjohnson I think you’re the Optimal candidate.
KevinBMcGowan Come back to my lab and let’s measure your voicing during closure.
KevinBMcGowan I hope you’re the target item because you’re the only part of the visual world I can fixate.
KevinBMcGowan You’re so good at pressing my buttons? You make me feel like a response box.
KevinBMcGowan You make me think there ought to be an IPA symbol for quadrilabial glide.
kristinelliott I’d like to insert you into my tableau & apply some constraints until we get an optimal output.
linguajinks I’m into relationships involving strict dominance, control, and binding.
linguajinks Let’s figure out our optimal linearization.
linguajinks Look, I study Bantu DP structure. I’m all class, all the time.
linguajinks Oh, let’s just be real here, there’s nothing principled about my search for an extended projection.
linguajinks I’d like to violate your constraints.
linguajinks I’m just a fine substrate looking for the right someone to lexify me.
linguajinks I wasn’t so sure about this position before, but you’ve got a good Case for it.
linguajinks Cinque, Rizzi, and Kayne got nothin’ on MY functional projections.
linguajinks I study labials. ALL of the labials.
linguajinks It’s okay that you’re into Goffman. I’m a footing fetishist, too.
linguajinks (from the Faceyspaces) I wish I were an anaphor so I could be bound in your domain.
linguajinks Everything I do gets a good response, I’ve got a hi Event Related Potential.
linguajinks I’ll make your dendrites reach an excited state every time.
linguajinks How do you feel about swapping partners? Because I’m totally into Strong Crossover Effects.
linguajinks Everyone loves a linguist. Ambiguous? It’s ☞this guy.☜
linguajinks You look like you could satisfy my Gricean maxims of quantity AND quality.
linguajinks Person 1: I study lexical semantics and ambiguity. Person 2: In that case, I’d like you to come with me.
linguajinks [λx [λy [x want to sleep with y] (you) ] (I)]
lousylinguist You have beautiful right node raising. Are you a model?
maryam_bakht Let’s Move and Merge. Then I’ll blow your mind with clitics.
maryam_bakht I’m just an Empty Operator looking for the right EPP.
maryam_bakht I’m just a minimalist kind of girl. Prepose a maximal projection and I’m good.
maryam_bakht I have to tell you: You put me in A-position.
maryam_bakht I’m an expert in stylistic variation
maryam_bakht Shift your footing? I’m trying to get at your face.
maryam_bakht Oinoglossia
maryam_bakht You and me are (n+1).
maryam_bakht Forget about Variable Rules! Come with me and I will expand your repertoire.
mikeclauss Have you ever considered Binding?
NemaVeza Excuse me, I couldn’t help Noticing…
NemaVeze Come with me, and I’ll give you a total physical response.
nickdan When you say “stop” all I hear is “continuant”
nickdan I think your [+high] feature has spread onto me because I am experiencing some sort of harmony
nickdan I’m really busy with school but maybe you’d want to get coffee during the week sometime? :(
nickdan *PantsOn is highly ranked.
nickdan I want to embed my PP in your VP
norsk_heks If you show me your linguolabial stop, I’ll show you my pitch range.
norsk_heks You don’t have to worry about Poverty of the Stimulus with me.
norsk_heks With my elegant grammar, you can be sure you’ll get the right output for your input.
RT nikki_isabel Wanna experience my advanced tongue root? You and I would be a perfect minimal pair.
RT SpecGram What’s a nice interlocutor like you doing in a speech community like this?
RT SpecGram If you were a verb, and I were a noun, would you incorporate me?
scootereater I’d merge with you like cot/caught.
scootereater Your low back merger is nice.
scootereater I’d measure your formants all night.
scootereater Say my name.
scootereater You wouldn’t even need a band pass filter.
scootereater I’d love to plot your vowels.
scootereater Ever heard of a filled pause?
scootereater You meet all of my Felicity Conditions.
scootereater I’m just thinking about you and positioning.
scootereater I know a little something about labialization.
scootereater I specialize in the language…of love.
scootereater Ever heard of Brown & Levinson? Because I’ve got a very special Face Threatening Act in mind.
scootereater I’d like to recontextualize you from here to my bed.
scootereater I’m picking up on your Contextualization Cues; whatsay we code-switch out of these clothes?
scootereater I have no problem being performative
semnewman I need to drop my open o to accommodate your extended vocal tract
semnewman I could take you on an F0 excursion.
the7train i’d like my vocalizations to bring YOUR abrupt emergence
the7train feel free to creolize MY pidgin.
the7train release your bilabial faster, i might affricate!
the7train do you only want to confuse our liquids, or can I glide into your vowel position tonight?
tjmahr Hey girl I like your cupid’s bow. Let’s flex our orbicularis orises.
tjmahr Hey speech pathology girl, tell me about your swallowing practicum.
trochee I’d like to infer some of your hidden structure.
TrollinLinguist Impressed? Wait til you see my hidden structure…
TrollinLinguist We’d better use some kind of constraint… wouldn’t want to have an unplanned reduplication!
TrollinLinguist You know that kind of talk will lead me to an extended projection on principle…
TrollinLinguist Naughty? Of course… did I strike you as some sort of behaviorist?
TrollinLinguist What incredible surface structure; I’ve never seen a form so logical.
TrollinLinguist I must be a Wernicke’s aphasic; I’m having a hard time comprehending the language of your love.
TrollinLinguist You know me. I’m always down to harmonize for advanced tongue root.
tzxi ti Want to make an apico-velar nasal with my tongue and your velum. An unreleased quadrilabial stop will be a by-product.
VerbingNouns Can you put your trace in my gap?
VerbingNouns Have you ever tried to Merge and Move?
VerbingNouns I’ll show you my Sausage Machine if you show me yours.
VerbingNouns If I were stuck in an island, I’d want you to illicitly extract me.
VerbingNouns The word of the day is “glottis” lets go to my place and spread the word.
VerbingNouns Are you a perception experiment? Because you activate my lexicon.
VerbingNouns Are you a phoneme? Because you make my articulators want to oscillate.
VerbingNouns Fewer grammaticality illusions turn me on than you do.